Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. I’m terrified of dentists. Or rather, I’m terrified of what they do. I bit one once, though when I apologised she said not to worry as it was an occupational hazard.
I just hope I don’t end up having to pay a couple of thousand quid as I did last autumn after one of my crowns came off while watching Terminator 3. I needed three new crowns, as well as a replacement for the one which fell off, all as a result of not having been to a dentist for 12 years. I’m pretty certain I’ll need one this time around too.
Kiddies: there’s a moral here somewhere. I think it is that, if only for the state of your financial happiness, you should always look after your teeth. If you don’t then one day they’ll turn round and bite you.
Posted 9 May 2004, 23:01 BST